Published in 2019, Crazy Talk: Stories Jesus Told is Crackers & Grape Juice’s attempt to preach on the parables of Jesus. We offer these sermons to preachers and teachers to aid them in preaching and teaching this week’s gospel reading in the Revised Common Lectionary.
The man was running out of room in his garage for all of his stuff. His wife thought it was extravagant for them to have five cars to begin with, but now the jet skis and the boat were simply making things unmanageable. And though he was supposed to figure out whether or not they could grease the hands of the local government enough for another building permit to let him but yet another addition to the back of his house, his mind was consumed by a far more stressful matter.
Larry.
Larry stood outside his house every day, walking back and forth over his grass—the grass he paid a small fortune to keep maintained. Larry had his little cardboard sign asking for money or for food and people would slow down and pass him a few dollars, or a spare muffin. And every day, Larry would return from sunup till sundown, and it was driving the rich man crazy.
He had done everything he could think of—he called the police, but they explained the property upon which Larry walked actually belonged to the city and there was nothing they could do about it—he proposed a new city ordinance banning the panhandlers like Larry from asking for money within the local municipality but all the local churches fought against it—he even tried playing extremely loud and annoying music through his expensive stereo system to try to drive him off.
But nothing worked.
Day after day Larry showed up and the rich man couldn’t stand it.
And yet, one day, the man woke up and began his normal routine only to discover that Larry, the nearly permanent fixture out his window was gone. The man danced around in his kitchen sliding across the marble floors. He drank his imported coffee and was thrilled to discover that Larry’s obituary was in the newspaper.
The rich man’s problems were over!
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